Need I say more?
Well, I guess I will, since I know that some people who read this aren't LDS. But how to describe it? Here goes:
A group of people, usually teenagers, get together with an overall theme. The large group is subdivided into seven or so smaller groups. The theme is subdivided as well. Each group is given a specific amount of time to write, plan, rehearse, and perform their skit.
Tonight was the performances. I was not a participant, but my younger brother Tyler was. His group's title was "Ballerinas VS the Wung Chun Clan or Love is a Battlefield." My baby brother, who is now 6'4" and about 215lbs, played a ballerina. He also had to prove his manliness by doing one arm pushups. Partly also because he has one one good hand as he broke his right hand 6 weeks ago by being "17 and stupid" as he says. The story was that of a boy and girl, who fall in love, only to find out that the boy is a dancer and the girl is a kung fu master. So a fight ensues and "Bruce Lee" the girl's brother, a tiny little kid (probably not even 5') beat up my brother (the giant ballerina) and Tyler crawled off the stage.
It was very well done, cheesy, corny, and campy, but so much fun! Plus, it is a safe environment for kids to express and experiment with stage performing, if they have never had an opportunity to do so. I love that about my church. Kids are exposed to good things, things that will help them later in life. The shyest kid could turn out to be amazing on stage! It helps to build confidence. Plus friendships can be made and it's just good, plain fun!
The roadshow that I did years ago was an adaptation of the Disney movie "Aladdin." I played Jasmine. And Aladdin was played by a tiny little 12 year old boy (I was 17 and already 6 feet tall). I don't remember much from the plot line, but the end of our performance was me picking up the boy and carrying him offstage. So fun!
Anyone else have fond memories of roadshows? What did you do? Share!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Getting Old Already!
Well today was...today was...not exciting. I can't say that I have anything to report. I worked at Back Bay today. Then Earl and I went to Costco. And then hung out with my family.
I did attempt to make homemade fried mozzarella. Turned out okay. What you do is take a chunk of fresh mozzarella (we found that the smaller the chunk, the better) and wrapped it in pizza dough. The store-bought kind in the tube is what we used. Then you deep fry it. And then cover it with marinara. I just dipped mine in spaghetti sauce. Pretty yummy!
I attempted to call my doctor today. I'm having knee issues. Along with the hip and leg and back issues. And migraine issues. Anyway, basically on Sunday night as I was coming down the stairs, my right knee started to click. Didn't hurt, so I went about my normal routine and didn't think anything of it. Then on Monday, it hurt so bad! All day at work all I could think about was putting my brace on. So Tuesday I wore my brace to work. Just going from sitting to standing or vice versa hurt like the dickens. Wore my brace Wednesday and Thursday as well. Then Thursday evening as I was getting ready for OCMCO rehearsal, I checked my knee for swelling, just like I had been doing all week (without any swelling or discoloration) and my right knee was about 50% bigger than my left! So after rehearsal, where I sat with my leg up on a chair, I iced and elevated my knee, hoping to bring down some of the swelling.
When I got up this morning, there was no change. Even after keeping my leg propped up ALL NIGHT LONG and forcing myself to sleep on my back which is the most UNCOMFORTABLE thing EVER!
So imagine my frustration when I go to call my doc today at 1230 and I get a recording that the office is closed. Not for lunch, for the rest of the day! Man, I wish I could only work half days! Must be nice! So now I have to wait til Monday to call and schedule an appt. And who knows when that will be!
So in the meantime, I'm 27 years old and falling apart. Can I trade in this model for a new one? I think the manufacturers gaurantee has worn off!
I did attempt to make homemade fried mozzarella. Turned out okay. What you do is take a chunk of fresh mozzarella (we found that the smaller the chunk, the better) and wrapped it in pizza dough. The store-bought kind in the tube is what we used. Then you deep fry it. And then cover it with marinara. I just dipped mine in spaghetti sauce. Pretty yummy!
I attempted to call my doctor today. I'm having knee issues. Along with the hip and leg and back issues. And migraine issues. Anyway, basically on Sunday night as I was coming down the stairs, my right knee started to click. Didn't hurt, so I went about my normal routine and didn't think anything of it. Then on Monday, it hurt so bad! All day at work all I could think about was putting my brace on. So Tuesday I wore my brace to work. Just going from sitting to standing or vice versa hurt like the dickens. Wore my brace Wednesday and Thursday as well. Then Thursday evening as I was getting ready for OCMCO rehearsal, I checked my knee for swelling, just like I had been doing all week (without any swelling or discoloration) and my right knee was about 50% bigger than my left! So after rehearsal, where I sat with my leg up on a chair, I iced and elevated my knee, hoping to bring down some of the swelling.
When I got up this morning, there was no change. Even after keeping my leg propped up ALL NIGHT LONG and forcing myself to sleep on my back which is the most UNCOMFORTABLE thing EVER!
So imagine my frustration when I go to call my doc today at 1230 and I get a recording that the office is closed. Not for lunch, for the rest of the day! Man, I wish I could only work half days! Must be nice! So now I have to wait til Monday to call and schedule an appt. And who knows when that will be!
So in the meantime, I'm 27 years old and falling apart. Can I trade in this model for a new one? I think the manufacturers gaurantee has worn off!
Thursday, March 17, 2011
New Year's Resolution in March?
I have been chastised and called to repentance.
Last night was the Newport Beach Stake Women's Conference. I've never been to a women's conference before. They are almost always on Saturday and I always work on Saturday. Last night's theme was "My Story Matters." And the speaker talked about how we as women need to record our life story.
I don't keep a daily journal. Not because I don't like to, it's that I don't feel that I have enough interesting events going on in my life that are worth recording.
I'm not a world traveler. I've only been out of the country once-on my honeymoon-on a cruise-doesn't really count-we only went to Mexico. I have dreams of one day going to Fiji, New Zealand, Australia, the Bahamas, Sweden, Germany, and Ireland. Half of those places are dive locations. The other half are for family history. It's where my family came from and I would love to know where, and see where they lived.
I'm not a mom. Yet. I don't have funny stories to tell about what my crazy kids did today. I don't have silly pictures to post. Not a bad thing. And rest assured-those posts will be coming in the next few years!
For now I am a dispatcher. I send ambulances to people when they call 911. (Whether they actually NEED an ambulance is another issue.) I work 3 12hr shifts a week. I leave when it's dark out. I come home as the last bits of sunshine fade away into darkness.
I am a wife. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me unconditionally. He takes care of the house because I don't have the energy or time when I come home from work. We are silly together. And nauseatingly cute when we are out in public. Who knew that after 2 years of marriage we would still hold hands every chance we get?
I'm a volunteer. I go to Back Bay Therapeutic Riding Club three days a week and give of my time to help disabled kids get stronger. Plus I get to play with horses!
I sing. I am a member of the Orange County Mormon Choral Organization. I sing 1st Alto. I am privileged to be in this organization. I love singing in a professional choir. It's hard work, but I love the sound that is made when 200 voices sing in harmony.
So this is my first entry in my thirty day journal/blog. I have to remember to write everyday. Keep me honest about it!
Last night was the Newport Beach Stake Women's Conference. I've never been to a women's conference before. They are almost always on Saturday and I always work on Saturday. Last night's theme was "My Story Matters." And the speaker talked about how we as women need to record our life story.
I don't keep a daily journal. Not because I don't like to, it's that I don't feel that I have enough interesting events going on in my life that are worth recording.
I'm not a world traveler. I've only been out of the country once-on my honeymoon-on a cruise-doesn't really count-we only went to Mexico. I have dreams of one day going to Fiji, New Zealand, Australia, the Bahamas, Sweden, Germany, and Ireland. Half of those places are dive locations. The other half are for family history. It's where my family came from and I would love to know where, and see where they lived.
I'm not a mom. Yet. I don't have funny stories to tell about what my crazy kids did today. I don't have silly pictures to post. Not a bad thing. And rest assured-those posts will be coming in the next few years!
For now I am a dispatcher. I send ambulances to people when they call 911. (Whether they actually NEED an ambulance is another issue.) I work 3 12hr shifts a week. I leave when it's dark out. I come home as the last bits of sunshine fade away into darkness.
I am a wife. I am married to a wonderful man who loves me unconditionally. He takes care of the house because I don't have the energy or time when I come home from work. We are silly together. And nauseatingly cute when we are out in public. Who knew that after 2 years of marriage we would still hold hands every chance we get?
I'm a volunteer. I go to Back Bay Therapeutic Riding Club three days a week and give of my time to help disabled kids get stronger. Plus I get to play with horses!
I sing. I am a member of the Orange County Mormon Choral Organization. I sing 1st Alto. I am privileged to be in this organization. I love singing in a professional choir. It's hard work, but I love the sound that is made when 200 voices sing in harmony.
So this is my first entry in my thirty day journal/blog. I have to remember to write everyday. Keep me honest about it!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Making Ends Meet
Greetings! For those of you in the Orange County, CA area, or know somebody in this area, I am selling my SCUBA gear as well as my bedroom furniture set.
The furniture is solid wood, oak, to be specific. The bed is for a queen size mattress, one nightstand, and a tall dresser with wing-back mirror. The bed comes with headboard, footboard, and side rails. No need for a frame underneath, it comes with supports as well.
I also have scuba gear to sell as well. Most items are Aqua Lung brand. Libra BC (designed for women) sz M, Legend LX ACD Supreme regulator, Suunto Cobra dive computer, Aquaflex 5mm hooded vest, rolling duffel bag, I believe it is from the Destination series, and various other dive related items.
If you or anyone you know is looking to purchase, I can give you prices via e-mail. The furniture is being sold as a set, and the scuba gear I would like to sell as a set, but can sell piece by piece if needed. You can reach me at wiggnbill@yahoo.com.
Thanks!
The furniture is solid wood, oak, to be specific. The bed is for a queen size mattress, one nightstand, and a tall dresser with wing-back mirror. The bed comes with headboard, footboard, and side rails. No need for a frame underneath, it comes with supports as well.
I also have scuba gear to sell as well. Most items are Aqua Lung brand. Libra BC (designed for women) sz M, Legend LX ACD Supreme regulator, Suunto Cobra dive computer, Aquaflex 5mm hooded vest, rolling duffel bag, I believe it is from the Destination series, and various other dive related items.
If you or anyone you know is looking to purchase, I can give you prices via e-mail. The furniture is being sold as a set, and the scuba gear I would like to sell as a set, but can sell piece by piece if needed. You can reach me at wiggnbill@yahoo.com.
Thanks!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
One of My Least Favorite Things
I'm gong to the dentist in an hour.
I'm scared. Out. Of. My. Mind.
I don't like the dentist. I've had poor experiences before. I have genetically weak teeth. It doesn't matter how much or how often I brush and floss, I always get cavities. Plus my gums are super sensitive. They always bleed. And I hate that scratching sound!! Sends chills through my whole body.
And to make it even better, I am going to a new dentist today. And to top it off, I haven't been to a dentist in over 4 years.
I'm scared.
I also need to have my wisdom teeth out. I'm not sure if my insurance covers that. I'm not sure if my insurance will cover all the work I'm sure will have to be done.
That's another reason why I'm scared. The cost. Oh buddy! Sometimes being a grownup isn't very fun. Oh well, I'm here and I can't go back!
Wish me luck!
I'm scared. Out. Of. My. Mind.
I don't like the dentist. I've had poor experiences before. I have genetically weak teeth. It doesn't matter how much or how often I brush and floss, I always get cavities. Plus my gums are super sensitive. They always bleed. And I hate that scratching sound!! Sends chills through my whole body.
And to make it even better, I am going to a new dentist today. And to top it off, I haven't been to a dentist in over 4 years.
I'm scared.
I also need to have my wisdom teeth out. I'm not sure if my insurance covers that. I'm not sure if my insurance will cover all the work I'm sure will have to be done.
That's another reason why I'm scared. The cost. Oh buddy! Sometimes being a grownup isn't very fun. Oh well, I'm here and I can't go back!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Catch-up
Well, I can't say that I've been sitting around the house lately. Work has been busy. My company, Doctor's Ambulance Service, was recently acquired by American Medical Response. So while right now this doesn't mean much to me, everyone else in the office has been running around lately. CHP inspections are tomorrow and we've had to prep every unit in our fleet. Not an easy feat while you are still providing coverage to 11 cities. So work has been work.
I am still volunteering with the horses and kids. SO MUCH FUN!! A lot of hard work, but so worth it. I've been able to get some riding lessons too which is a nice perk. But I realized that with the exercise I get there, my resting heart rate has gone down! Holy crap it scared me when I took my pulse yesterday! I thought for sure something was wrong with me! Nope, my resting rate now is right about 60bpm. Go me!
And the most exciting news of all...
I was accepted into OCMCO! That is the Orange County Mormon Choral Organization. There are 220 adults in the choir, a full orchestra, and several youth/children choirs. All in all, there are about 500 people involved! Holy cow! I'm super excited to be in it, and although it's a lot of hard work, it is so worth it! I love being in a choir again and singing good music with other good people. I still sing in the car and let out my inner diva (who knew I had one of those??) when I'm driving to and from work.
And going along with that, as an organization, we will be going to Salt Lake City in the beginning of June to record in a giant studio and to also perform at the Tabernacle!! So excited for that!! So anyone in the Salt Lake Valley, you should come! I will give dates later when I know more.
I think that's about all I have to say tonight. Love you all!
I am still volunteering with the horses and kids. SO MUCH FUN!! A lot of hard work, but so worth it. I've been able to get some riding lessons too which is a nice perk. But I realized that with the exercise I get there, my resting heart rate has gone down! Holy crap it scared me when I took my pulse yesterday! I thought for sure something was wrong with me! Nope, my resting rate now is right about 60bpm. Go me!
And the most exciting news of all...
I was accepted into OCMCO! That is the Orange County Mormon Choral Organization. There are 220 adults in the choir, a full orchestra, and several youth/children choirs. All in all, there are about 500 people involved! Holy cow! I'm super excited to be in it, and although it's a lot of hard work, it is so worth it! I love being in a choir again and singing good music with other good people. I still sing in the car and let out my inner diva (who knew I had one of those??) when I'm driving to and from work.
And going along with that, as an organization, we will be going to Salt Lake City in the beginning of June to record in a giant studio and to also perform at the Tabernacle!! So excited for that!! So anyone in the Salt Lake Valley, you should come! I will give dates later when I know more.
I think that's about all I have to say tonight. Love you all!
Public Service Announcement
So I figured it was time to make a public service announcement on my blog. I have been thinking about this for awhile now, and I'm finally feeling well enough to do it.
No, This is NOT a pregnancy announcement!
As you know, I work as a dispatcher for an ambulance company. We prove emergent and non-emergent transport to the southern half of Orange county. There are many people in this area, and I'm sure throughout the country, that do not know the difference between emergent and non-emergent. This is where I come in! Please remember to take this with a grain of salt and realize that I have a dark sense of humor-you kind of have to in this line of work.
I feel that there should be a little list or flow chart next to every phone that goes over these points.
These are examples of emergencies:
1. Extreme loss of blood
2. Loss of consciousness
3. Severing of appendage
4. Impalement of object into body
5. Chest pain
6. Sudden change in behavior (confusion, erratic, etc)
7. Sudden inability to speak, see, or loss of movement on one side of the body
8. Stopped breathing
9. No pulse
10. Seizure activity
These are instances when 911 should be called. Some are obvious, others not necessarily. Even if you are with someone experiencing some of these symptoms and you feel you can get them to the hospital faster, wait for the paramedics as they are trained to handle these situations and can administer appropriate drugs. Besides, do you really think that you can drive responsibly to the hospital while your mind is on your friend or family member's well being? Nope. I promise you can't.
Some examples of non-emergencies:
1. Feeling weak and you are over the age of 65. It's called getting older. (and if it's 100 degrees outside, don't have your heater on)
2. Feeling weak and you are under the age of 65. You're human and tired. Chances are you didn't get your cup of coffee or energy drink. Eat a cookie!
3. Toothache. The hospital can't do anything for that other than give you Advil or Tylenol. And you can do that at home.
4. Sprained ankle. Call a friend or family member to take you.
5. Wrist pain from a fall. You can still walk right? Or is that what caused your fall...hmmm...
6. Neck pain from a car accident...in a parking lot...while going 5 mph...trust me, you're fine.
7. I'm freaking out man! (I know that most people who read this are LDS, so this doesn't apply) You took one hit of pot. You are probably going to throw up. You aren't going to die. I promise.
8. Finger pain from closing the door on said finger. Really?
9. Parents of children who fell off the bed, cried initially, and are acting normal now. Kids are resilient. Plus they bounce!
10. Constipation. Ever heard of fiber? Metamucil? Fruit? Water? There are laxatives out there too...
So obviously, things must be evaluated on a case by case basis. Always err on the side of caution. But please think before you pick up that phone. Ask yourself or someone else, if it's really an emergency.
And remember, 911 is not for complaining that the drive-thru did not get your order right.
Stay classy people!
No, This is NOT a pregnancy announcement!
As you know, I work as a dispatcher for an ambulance company. We prove emergent and non-emergent transport to the southern half of Orange county. There are many people in this area, and I'm sure throughout the country, that do not know the difference between emergent and non-emergent. This is where I come in! Please remember to take this with a grain of salt and realize that I have a dark sense of humor-you kind of have to in this line of work.
I feel that there should be a little list or flow chart next to every phone that goes over these points.
These are examples of emergencies:
1. Extreme loss of blood
2. Loss of consciousness
3. Severing of appendage
4. Impalement of object into body
5. Chest pain
6. Sudden change in behavior (confusion, erratic, etc)
7. Sudden inability to speak, see, or loss of movement on one side of the body
8. Stopped breathing
9. No pulse
10. Seizure activity
These are instances when 911 should be called. Some are obvious, others not necessarily. Even if you are with someone experiencing some of these symptoms and you feel you can get them to the hospital faster, wait for the paramedics as they are trained to handle these situations and can administer appropriate drugs. Besides, do you really think that you can drive responsibly to the hospital while your mind is on your friend or family member's well being? Nope. I promise you can't.
Some examples of non-emergencies:
1. Feeling weak and you are over the age of 65. It's called getting older. (and if it's 100 degrees outside, don't have your heater on)
2. Feeling weak and you are under the age of 65. You're human and tired. Chances are you didn't get your cup of coffee or energy drink. Eat a cookie!
3. Toothache. The hospital can't do anything for that other than give you Advil or Tylenol. And you can do that at home.
4. Sprained ankle. Call a friend or family member to take you.
5. Wrist pain from a fall. You can still walk right? Or is that what caused your fall...hmmm...
6. Neck pain from a car accident...in a parking lot...while going 5 mph...trust me, you're fine.
7. I'm freaking out man! (I know that most people who read this are LDS, so this doesn't apply) You took one hit of pot. You are probably going to throw up. You aren't going to die. I promise.
8. Finger pain from closing the door on said finger. Really?
9. Parents of children who fell off the bed, cried initially, and are acting normal now. Kids are resilient. Plus they bounce!
10. Constipation. Ever heard of fiber? Metamucil? Fruit? Water? There are laxatives out there too...
So obviously, things must be evaluated on a case by case basis. Always err on the side of caution. But please think before you pick up that phone. Ask yourself or someone else, if it's really an emergency.
And remember, 911 is not for complaining that the drive-thru did not get your order right.
Stay classy people!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Oh Those Toes!
Some of you may or may not know that I now volunteer every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon. I go to the Back Bay Therapeutic Riding Club. It's a place that works with mentally and physically handicapped kids. So much fun! The kids are hilarious and their enthusiasm is infectious.
While I have fun grooming the horses and lead the horses during the lessons, it is so rewarding to me to think that I have a small hand in helping these kids get stronger.
So this past week, I was grooming like normal. The mare (female horse) I was working on was quite tempermental, which I'd like to say was a rare occurrence, but it's not. She only let me clean two of her feet. And as I was trying to go for another one, she moved suddenly and decided that m foot was the best place for her to step.
I didn't cry out, well, not aloud. Internally I was screaming bloody murder. But the main gal of the operation was in the middle of a lesson, and I had just started and couldn't very well say that I'd just gotten hurt. So what did I do?
Yup. I kept going.
I don't know why I must always force myself to push on when I'm injured. It's like I have to prove that I'm tough or something.
But continue I did. I even ran with the horses in the next couple of lessons. And when I went home, the three middle toes on my right foot were swollen and red. With a popped blister on one, and broken skin on all three at the cuticle.
Today, five days later, they still hurt and are even more colorful! But I'm still going back Wouldn't give up working with those kids and the horses for anything!
And this week we are going on a "field trip" to the fire station. Should be fun!
While I have fun grooming the horses and lead the horses during the lessons, it is so rewarding to me to think that I have a small hand in helping these kids get stronger.
So this past week, I was grooming like normal. The mare (female horse) I was working on was quite tempermental, which I'd like to say was a rare occurrence, but it's not. She only let me clean two of her feet. And as I was trying to go for another one, she moved suddenly and decided that m foot was the best place for her to step.
I didn't cry out, well, not aloud. Internally I was screaming bloody murder. But the main gal of the operation was in the middle of a lesson, and I had just started and couldn't very well say that I'd just gotten hurt. So what did I do?
Yup. I kept going.
I don't know why I must always force myself to push on when I'm injured. It's like I have to prove that I'm tough or something.
But continue I did. I even ran with the horses in the next couple of lessons. And when I went home, the three middle toes on my right foot were swollen and red. With a popped blister on one, and broken skin on all three at the cuticle.
Today, five days later, they still hurt and are even more colorful! But I'm still going back Wouldn't give up working with those kids and the horses for anything!
And this week we are going on a "field trip" to the fire station. Should be fun!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Gratitude-Chicken Soup for the Soul Style
When Sarah posted up about gratitude, I started thinking about moments in my life that I'm grateful for. Two instances came to mind immediately.
I lived in Utah for 11 months. I had never lived so far away from anything comfortable and familiar before. I was lucky to have my best friend Samantha just down the road.
I didn't tell Sam my financial woes. I kept them to myself. I had run out of money and didn't have food. Just like Old Mother Hubbard, my cupboards were bare. Right around Christmas, Sam and her husband Nathan sent me a Christmas card. Inside was a gift card to WalMart. Their intention was for me to use the gift card to purchase a sofa or futon so that I would have something to sit on in my little apartment.
Sam had no way of knowing my situation. But she was certainly listening to the spirit when she sent me that card. You see, the WalMart by my place was a Super WalMart and was open 24hrs and had a grocery center in it. I was able to use that card for the next two months to buy groceries. I am forever grateful to Sam and Nathan for that gift.
~~~~~
The other time that I can recall was last year. Earl and I hadn't been married 6 months yet and I got hurt at work. I was on light duty, earning half of my normal paycheck. We knew that we had to still pay our tithing even though money was scarce. And so we did. And we were about $700 short for rent and utilities. Earl went to our bishop (I had to work that night). And when the meeting was through, Earl had a check in hand for the full amount of our rent and utilities. Not a week later the brakes went out on the truck and they were grinding hard. Because the Lord had taken care of the rent, we were able to keep our truck safe. We never would have been able to afford everything without help.
Sometimes we forget that we do have people looking out for us. Sometimes we don't want to remember that there is help. But help comes when we least expect it.
I lived in Utah for 11 months. I had never lived so far away from anything comfortable and familiar before. I was lucky to have my best friend Samantha just down the road.
I didn't tell Sam my financial woes. I kept them to myself. I had run out of money and didn't have food. Just like Old Mother Hubbard, my cupboards were bare. Right around Christmas, Sam and her husband Nathan sent me a Christmas card. Inside was a gift card to WalMart. Their intention was for me to use the gift card to purchase a sofa or futon so that I would have something to sit on in my little apartment.
Sam had no way of knowing my situation. But she was certainly listening to the spirit when she sent me that card. You see, the WalMart by my place was a Super WalMart and was open 24hrs and had a grocery center in it. I was able to use that card for the next two months to buy groceries. I am forever grateful to Sam and Nathan for that gift.
~~~~~
The other time that I can recall was last year. Earl and I hadn't been married 6 months yet and I got hurt at work. I was on light duty, earning half of my normal paycheck. We knew that we had to still pay our tithing even though money was scarce. And so we did. And we were about $700 short for rent and utilities. Earl went to our bishop (I had to work that night). And when the meeting was through, Earl had a check in hand for the full amount of our rent and utilities. Not a week later the brakes went out on the truck and they were grinding hard. Because the Lord had taken care of the rent, we were able to keep our truck safe. We never would have been able to afford everything without help.
Sometimes we forget that we do have people looking out for us. Sometimes we don't want to remember that there is help. But help comes when we least expect it.
A Time for Everything, Even Venting
There is a picture I have hung up in my living room. It is a picture of Christ with his arms outstretched, surrounded by a host of angels. At the bottom is a quote that says, "I never said it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it."
There are many times a day that I question that. This mortality is most certainly NOT easy. Anyone who says differently is selling something. I wonder at times if things will ever get better. Not necessarily easier. Well, yes, easier. Not because my trials go away and I float through life. No. I am just looking for a pair of strong hands and a strong back that will help me carry this burden.
I have noticed lately that I am starting to become a bitter person. I don't like that I'm bitter. I'm trying to change my attitude. I was working in the library at church a few weeks ago (my oh-so-wonderful calling) and I started reading a book. I don't remember the name of it, I only remember that it was written by President Hinckley's daughter. She spoke of opening her heart to allow Christ's love in. Not by doing anything drastic or terribly hard. Just by doing little things.
Part of my job requires that I more or less harden my heart to the situations that I deal with. This keeps me from becoming very sentimental or emotional. Sometimes this is a blessing. But after reading this book, I decided that I was going to try to not be so cold and removed. Wouldn't you know it, but the very next day at work we ran a call for a full arrest on a nine month old baby. The parents had dropped of the child with a sitter. Baby went down for a nap and 3-4 hours later when the sitter looked in on the baby, the baby wasn't breathing.
When this call came out, one of the first things I did was say a prayer for this little infant. No one ever wants to see a child hurt. I prayed for the parents that they would be comforted. And I started to cry. I cry at everything now. It's really starting to become ridiculous! How am I to open my heart if I can't by stable enough to do my job?
How do I handle this life? Earl has been out of work most of the time we've been married. I work 36 hrs a week. I know it doesn't sound like much. But those 12hr days I work drain everything from me. I come home and I am bitter. I am jealous. I want to stay home all day. I want him to work. I have prayed for him to find a job. I don't care if it's making burritos at Taco Bell. I just feel the weight on my shoulders of being the only provider for our family. And I'm not strong enough to bear it alone. I'm not sure if it sounds like I'm whining or not. Probably does. I just needed to vent. It's very frustrating to not see any change. Sometimes it feels like I am alone.
I know that I'm not alone.
But sometimes I forget.
In the meantime I am applying for part time work on my days off. Otherwise Christmas will come and go without gifts, and we will go without comforts. Not necessarily a bad thing. Wish us luck!
There are many times a day that I question that. This mortality is most certainly NOT easy. Anyone who says differently is selling something. I wonder at times if things will ever get better. Not necessarily easier. Well, yes, easier. Not because my trials go away and I float through life. No. I am just looking for a pair of strong hands and a strong back that will help me carry this burden.
I have noticed lately that I am starting to become a bitter person. I don't like that I'm bitter. I'm trying to change my attitude. I was working in the library at church a few weeks ago (my oh-so-wonderful calling) and I started reading a book. I don't remember the name of it, I only remember that it was written by President Hinckley's daughter. She spoke of opening her heart to allow Christ's love in. Not by doing anything drastic or terribly hard. Just by doing little things.
Part of my job requires that I more or less harden my heart to the situations that I deal with. This keeps me from becoming very sentimental or emotional. Sometimes this is a blessing. But after reading this book, I decided that I was going to try to not be so cold and removed. Wouldn't you know it, but the very next day at work we ran a call for a full arrest on a nine month old baby. The parents had dropped of the child with a sitter. Baby went down for a nap and 3-4 hours later when the sitter looked in on the baby, the baby wasn't breathing.
When this call came out, one of the first things I did was say a prayer for this little infant. No one ever wants to see a child hurt. I prayed for the parents that they would be comforted. And I started to cry. I cry at everything now. It's really starting to become ridiculous! How am I to open my heart if I can't by stable enough to do my job?
How do I handle this life? Earl has been out of work most of the time we've been married. I work 36 hrs a week. I know it doesn't sound like much. But those 12hr days I work drain everything from me. I come home and I am bitter. I am jealous. I want to stay home all day. I want him to work. I have prayed for him to find a job. I don't care if it's making burritos at Taco Bell. I just feel the weight on my shoulders of being the only provider for our family. And I'm not strong enough to bear it alone. I'm not sure if it sounds like I'm whining or not. Probably does. I just needed to vent. It's very frustrating to not see any change. Sometimes it feels like I am alone.
I know that I'm not alone.
But sometimes I forget.
In the meantime I am applying for part time work on my days off. Otherwise Christmas will come and go without gifts, and we will go without comforts. Not necessarily a bad thing. Wish us luck!
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