The Lord gives us trials. I seem to get a bunch of little ones.
Yesterday, after finishing a session at the temple, I was folding my things when I noticed something shiny on the counter. My heart jumped into my throat and my stomach fell to the floor.
~~Flashback~~
I had been at work about two months ago when a diamond fell out of my wedding band. This was shortly before Earl and I were to be sealed. Sent it in, got it back about a week before the sealing date. My ring was back for 24 hours and another diamond had fallen out. So we sent it back again at no cost to us. I got my ring back this past Tuesday.
~~Flash forward to Thursday~~
I looked down at m ring and sure enough, that tiny little shiny thing was a diamond from my band. I muttered under my breath (which is not something you normally do at the temple, for obvious reasons) something like,, "Oh my gosh, you've GOT to be kidding me!"
I was trying to hold back the tears. A kind temple worker (I haven't encountered any temple worker who isn't kind) was walking past me and stopped to ask if I was okay.
Normally when I am upset and on the verge of tears, it is best not to talk to me because I can hold back the tears and get on with my day. I couldn't yesterday. I started bawling, right there in the dressing room for a material object.
I finally collected myself, got changed, and went out to meet Earl. I had him hold out his hand and I put the tiny little diamond and my ring in his hand. I tried not to cry again as we drove home.
I couldn't call the company to tell them the situation because I would have said very mean things to them and would've wound up in tears again. So I let Earl know my demands so he could talk to them. We got things straightened out. I am getting a new band, free of cost. They are paying for shipping to and from my house. They are overnighting the completed ring back to me. But in the meantime, I will be without my beloved wedding ring for another two weeks at the least.
Earl took me to Olive Garden last night for comfort food. I was comforted a lot!
So while I am dealing with this emotional stress, I'm also dealing with some physical pain. I've been dealing with hip and leg and lower back pain for the past year and a half. It's been off and on and I would go weeks at a time without feeling any pain. Well, last Memorial Day, the pain was so intense I couldn't take it anymore. So I went to the doctor, got some prescriptions for the pain, and started physical therapy.
So far, I'm not going up and down in huge spikes and drops. I've evened out, but now it's a constant pain. My whole right leg, from my hip to my toes is constantly hurting. This makes it very difficult to sleep. I can't lay on my right side for obvious reasons. Laying on my left side is starting to put too much strain on the hip so that hurts. And laying on my back is horribly uncomfortable since I am a stomach/side sleeper. Hence, I did not get a lot of sleep last night.
I don't know why Heavenly Father has given me these trials. With the ring situation, it is probably to learn to better control my emotions. I have a quick temper and a sharp tongue. By Earl doing the talking yesterday, I pretty much avoided controlling my emotions, but I did not scream at a total stranger for something that was out of his control. I am learning to trust healthcare professionals. I guess I have always trusted them, it's the insurance beauracracies I don't trust. It's hard to go to the doctor when you know it's going to cost an arm and a leg for a procedure that may or may not bring you answers.
So that's what I'm dealing with. This may seem trivial to others, but for me, these are mountains that I must climb over. To dig a tunnel through the mountain would be cheating and I would learn nothing from it. All I know is that Heavenly Father knows me and what I can handle. I guess that means I can handle this trial. I just don't know when I will conquer it.
