Death and Taxes

(I preface this post that it is snarky and political. Read at your own risk)

Well, not death, but certainly taxes.

Is anyone else getting screwed by taxes this year? Earl and I combined made not even $100 in 2013 than we did in 2012. Yet this year we owe. Like, just over $300. Are you kidding me? When I added my W2 for my current job, we were still getting a refund, about $400, roughly. Then I added my W2 for the 5 months I worked at Sport Chalet and brought home 6k. That caused us to lose the $400 return and owe over $300!! Seriously??? So by adding that information in, it was a difference of -$700. How on earth is that right?

So, we're having a baby this year and have to pay for everything that goes with it: doctor's and hospital bills, clothes, diapers, crib, all the "equipment" that a tiny human requires, and we are expected to pay the federal government over $300 too? So that money will cover what, one congressman's new tie? It sure ain't going to pay a soldier or his/her family. Or is this going to go towards another government shutdown? Perhaps it will go towards someone else's birth control under Obamacare?

I pay my taxes every week out of my check. I don't have a choice. But I pay them. Earl pays his. We scrape by with the little we have left and make it work. And now, after 12 years of working and paying my taxes and being a "good" citizen, I have to pay? I want to know what my tax dollars are going to. Don't you? I guess when you have a government who can't agree on a budget must collect money from everyone in order to keep spending. They sure as heck haven't cut spending. That's what we do in my family when there is a decrease of income. You start to cut the "fluff" like meals out. Cable/satellite TV. You start to figure out "wants" vs "needs" and you sort it out pretty quickly.

So, while I am BEYOND frustrated over this turn of events, I just want to say this to our current government:

Thank you for making it more difficult for us to provide for our baby. I guess you just want more people on welfare so that you will continue to receive those votes.

Thank you for pushing us down when we were hoping to move into a place with more space and room, since our family is growing.

Thank you for making me more stressed out when this is supposed to be a happy and joyful time in my life. Especially after I waited years for the opportunity to become a mother.

Thank you for stunting the growth of America. This country isn't driven by capitalism, small business, or people trying to live the American Dream. This country has become a nation of people headed straight for poverty by the government that is supposed to support and encourage growth, advancement, and the achievement of that American Dream.

The "Dream" has been diminished to "...if we can make it til next payday..." and no longer putting money away for a rainy day.

Thank you for encouraging me to give up hope, to concede defeat in this life. I obviously cannot "get ahead" when I was planning on using that tax refund to help us become debt free. What a concept for this government! Debt free? What is that??? What does it mean? When you have a guaranteed six figure salary with benefits, you don't worry so much about debt. When your annual income is quite a bit less, debt is a constant worry.

So I guess this post is about death and taxes. Death of the American Dream. That's what I am faced with today.

Too bad we can't even pay for the funeral. Is there a government program that will cover that cost?

Two Pink Lines

Well, I made it Facebook official yesterday, so I'd better make it blog official today.

I am pregnant.

*whew*

After almost 3 years of "not preventing" and wondering when and countless tears, rants, bouts of depression, and finally giving up hope, I saw 2 pink lines.

Yesterday morning Earl and I headed to the doctor's office and although I'm 10 weeks along (Gasp! I'm still in the first trimester and announcing to the world?!?!) the doctor brought in the Doppler and we were able to hear the heartbeat of our tiny little baby. It was such an amazing moment and I didn't fully realize how badly I needed to hear the heartbeat until I did. I was so afraid that something would go wrong. That I was imagining things.

I won't go into the full spectrum of scary thoughts I had.

But I will tell you this: I am in love with this baby. I've been in love with it since I saw those 2 pink lines.

I am so grateful for this chance. I honestly never thought I would be in this place. I know, I gave up hope too fast. I still ache for the women who haven't experienced the joy and fear that comes with entering this phase of life. It's terrifying. It's thrilling. I can't tell you how many times I have said a prayer of thanks for this opportunity to be a mother. I figured my calling in life was to work with the youth of my church and they would be my "children".

I bought my first 2 articles of maternity clothing last night.

What a ride I'm in for!