Two Pink Lines

Well, I made it Facebook official yesterday, so I'd better make it blog official today.

I am pregnant.

*whew*

After almost 3 years of "not preventing" and wondering when and countless tears, rants, bouts of depression, and finally giving up hope, I saw 2 pink lines.

Yesterday morning Earl and I headed to the doctor's office and although I'm 10 weeks along (Gasp! I'm still in the first trimester and announcing to the world?!?!) the doctor brought in the Doppler and we were able to hear the heartbeat of our tiny little baby. It was such an amazing moment and I didn't fully realize how badly I needed to hear the heartbeat until I did. I was so afraid that something would go wrong. That I was imagining things.

I won't go into the full spectrum of scary thoughts I had.

But I will tell you this: I am in love with this baby. I've been in love with it since I saw those 2 pink lines.

I am so grateful for this chance. I honestly never thought I would be in this place. I know, I gave up hope too fast. I still ache for the women who haven't experienced the joy and fear that comes with entering this phase of life. It's terrifying. It's thrilling. I can't tell you how many times I have said a prayer of thanks for this opportunity to be a mother. I figured my calling in life was to work with the youth of my church and they would be my "children".

I bought my first 2 articles of maternity clothing last night.

What a ride I'm in for!