Who Needs Clothes Anyway?

I need to get this off my chest. I apologize if this is redundant to anyone, it's just on my mind right now.

I don't like to shop for clothes. Or shoes. This is mainly due to the fact that I am not a "normal" size. Technically, my girth is "average" per se, but my length is anything but. You know all those cute drop-waisted sweaters or dresses you see? They aren't drop-waisted on me. The hit at my waist. Or an empire waist with princess seams on a dress? (much like my wedding dress) Those seam lines hit right in the middle of my chest. No, I am NOT well-endowed, far from it actually.

The last time I bought jeans, I ordered them online because that is the only place where I can find extra long lengths. I love my jeans too, they fit great, and are super comfy.

I don't buy shirts anymore. I always have to buy a large or xl just to have extra length, and then I'm swimming in it every other way possible. Don't get me started on the whole modesty thing either. It bugs the snot out of me that in order to wear something even remotely in fashion (or even very out-dated) I have to wear an undershirt or some sort of cover-up. Why can't clothing designers make modest clothes? It's not that hard. It doesn't add that much fabric.

And shoes! Holy cow are shoes a nightmare! I can't buy shoes online because you never really know how they will fit. And shoes are only cute when they are a size 6-8. Heck, even 9's look better than my monstrous 11's. Not to leave out those who wear 10's, I feel your pain. I wore 10's my freshman year of high school. Half of my regular shoes are men's sizes and styles. I wear men's boots, pants, and jacket to work. So I like to feel like a woman at say, church, or on a date with my husband.

I haven't legitimately updated my wardrobe in years. I am still wearing skirts from high school. I just get really discouraged to look at clothes on the rack or online and know that the skirts that come to the model's knees would only go mid-thigh on me.

Here's where it gets a little mushy-gushy touchy-feely spiritual. After Women's Conference tonight, I know that I am not forgotten. Although it sure feels like it at times, I am remembered in Heavenly Father's eyes. Maybe when it was my turn to come to earth, I just got stretched during the transport.

I may be over 6 feet tall, but by golly, I love wearing my 4 inch heels to church!

Sleep, It's a Wonderful Thing

I can't begin to tell you how much I love sleep.

I love it. I'm obsessed with it.

It's one of my favorite hobbies.

And the last couple of nights, I've gotten some.

You see, for many years now, I have not been able to sleep throughout the entire night. Not that there were noises or other influences to wake me up. I would just wake up because that's what my body was used to from working 24-48 hour shifts on the ambulance.

But lately things have been getting out of hand. I would fall asleep like normal around 10pm. And I would be sound asleep until anywhere between 1 and 3am. I wake up for no apparent reason, and most of the time, I lay in bed, tossing and turning trying to fall back asleep. This would go on for weeks on end.

I can't tell you for sure what has changed within the last week. All I know is that I'm sleeping throughout the night. It is glorious. On days that I work, I'm not dragging my feet through the door and being a total grump the first 3 hours of my shift. And on days that I don't work, I have energy to get out of bed and actually do stuff around the house. Like laundry, or the dishes, or write about sleeping.

So it's good, this thing called sleep. I suggest you try it.


I even had the energy to get up and make pancakes for breakfast! Who knew sleep could do that?

Summer Activities So Far

I am forewarning you that there are a lot of pictures in this post. Finally got pictures from the camera and phone downloaded to the computer and will now be uploaded to this blog.

Starting with...Utah!! Wait, I went to Utah twice...Okay, this Utah trip was because the choir I'm in, Orange County Mormon Choral Organization, had the opportunity to perform in the historic Tabernacle on Temple Square. We also were able to record a cd at Abravanel Hall, the home of the Utah Symphony. We also had a concert at the hall, but I don't have pictures from that because my family went to the Tabernacle performance.

So here we go!

We drove up on Memorial Day and there was fresh snow on the mountains from the night before!

This is me before the Tabernacle concert. Holy hunking makeup Batman! I hated wearing that much makeup...but they made me do it.

That's me, almost to the very top, right in the middle. See me? I absolutely could not believe all the people who came to see us perform. It was amazing. Made me tear up a little.

Sage has continued to grow. She is about 5 months old now. Oh, by the way, this is our kitten, Sage! She's going to the vet for the first time today. Should be interesting!

She either stretches out or curls up to sleep. She's so stinking cute when she sleeps!

Earl is selling emergency food storage for a company called Daily Bread. This is one of the products they sell. It is a backpack (duh) with a 2 week supply of food for 1 adult (or 1 week for 2 adults, which is what we will be using it for), first aid kit, solar-powered radio-flashlight, tin cup, heat source, and filtered water bottle. They also have a la carte packs of food as well as monthly systems up to a year I believe. Almost all the food has a 25 year shelf life and tastes really good! I've tried it, it was yummy! So if you are interested in purchasing anything, I can help you out!

Earl and I went to the fair last week. We really enjoy the petting zoos. This little fawn liked me. Or at least liked trying to eat my shirt.

Earl liked the goats too.

Okay, I'm going back in time now. This was right after Earl and I did a session in the Salt Lake Temple from our first Utah trip. Such an amazing experience!

We got to sit in on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Thursday night rehearsal. I was feeling silly, Earl was not.

So beautiful...

This is my best friend Samantha. This is from my second trip to Utah. We got to see each other on my first trip, but we both completely forgot to take pictures! I was so happy to see her and her family. They have a beautiful home in Nibley, UT with an amazing garden! We spent the night there before we trekked on to southern Idaho for my family reunion.

Blake decided to come join us for a picture. Nicole would have too, but she was napping.

Earl and Blake became best buds on our first Utah trip and cemented that bond on our second!

That is a hummingbird in the boys hand. A few miles away from our campsite in the Sawtooth National Forest, there is a spot where hummingbirds gather and this group comes out and weighs, measures, and bands the birds. It was amazing how still the birds were! I found out that hummingbirds do not have feathers on their belly. And they only weigh about 3 grams!

I think I will end things here and post more later!

An Addition to the Family!

We are happy to announce the addition of a family member!

No, not a baby. Well, not a HUMAN baby at least!

We have a kitten!

Her name is Sage. She is white with gray spots and a gray tail with just a little snip of white at the very end. Her eyes are green, hence the name, and is about 8 weeks old. She was rescued by my friend Sam G. a few weeks ago when her mama was killed by a coyote. Her brother, Dusty Bottoms, was also rescued and will be serving as a barn cat for Sam.

Pictures will be coming soon, I can't find the cord to upload stuff from my phone at the moment.

I will also post about my recent trip to Salt Lake City, but I just don't have the energy to do it right now!

Ramblings of the Night

I have many jumbled thoughts tonight. Please bear with me as I try to get it all out.

I will start by saying that I love my family. There have been ups and downs in our relationship. The downs were pretty low sometimes. But my family didn't leave me.

And I didn't leave them.

There were times that I wanted to. I wanted to this world. I used to think that my life was horrible and no one loved me. But then I thought of my family. Thought of how sad they would be if I left. I wanted my baby brother to know me when he got older.

So I stayed.

And the tables have turned slightly. I tend to have a "worst case scenario" mind sometimes. I think it just comes with the job. And I have worried about one of my family members leaving me. And I start to cry. So I think of something else.

A family that I know is going through this right now. Their son took his own life. While they are active members of the church, my heart aches for what they are feeling right now.

I know that families are forever. I am lucky enough to be connected to my family, my husband, and my husband's family. I know that we will be together after we die. This knowledge I think helps to ease the pain of a family member passing away. But there is still that sting right after it happens. I've seen it happen to people I love. To people I don't know. To people I will never see again.

What and how we feel makes us human. Sometimes the feelings overwhelm us and we aren't able to function. I believe that with the comforting arms of our Savior, Jesus Christ, around us, we can overcome any obstacle we come to.

When we made the decision to come to Earth, we knew we would face trials. But those trials would be worth it to have a body. Sometimes I doubt that I am strong enough to face what life throws at me. And sometimes I go crashing head-on into those trials.

It's all a matter of perspective.

Please, keep this family in your prayers. I believe they could use a lot of love and support right now.

And now I need to go to bed before I turn into a pumpkin.

Dreams and Lions

I couldn't sleep last night. So now I'm up and blogging. You guys get to reap the benefits of my lack of sleep! Aren't you so lucky?

So two nights ago I had some odd dreams. One was of a family reunion. We were in a very strange area and it was just weird. I won't go in to details because it wasn't that important.

The other dream I had was set back in Plano, in our old house. I was 9. Tyler was a baby. I was babysitting. And he had fallen asleep for a nap so I went to put him in his crib only to find the side railing was broken and I needed to fix it. So I put Tyler in the guest room on a mattress that was on the floor (to my memory, there was never just a mattress on the floor but a full size bed with a wrought iron (or was it cast iron?) head/foot board). I went about fixing the crib. And that's about all of the dream, I won't bore you with little details.

I believe that the reason I had this dream was because right before going to bed, I had texted with my mom that Tyler was going to be ordained an Elder this Sunday at church. I have a hard time coming to the realization that my little baby brother is growing up.

Well I WAS going to share some pictures of how big he's gotten, but they aren't working. So my baby brother is now about 6'4" and 215lb. This last year in football, he was a head taller than everybody else. He just passed his Eagle Board of Review, and in that picture is taller than all the leaders. Then I was going to share a picture from when he was like 12 or 13 and was a scrawny little redhead with glasses and so adorable! But you will have to take my word for it!

My baby brother is growing up. He's going to college next year. University of Utah to be exact. And then he's going on a mission. He isn't 2 and curled up on my lap like a little baby lion anymore (The Lion King came out about that age and we watched it 2-3 times a day). But I still love this kid. I'm happy to see that he is progressing in life.

And last night, who knows why I couldn't sleep. Woke up at 0230 burning up and had to turn the fan on. Tossed and turned the rest of the night. So I hope that tonight brings more sleep to me! I do love sleep. And food.

Choir and Coughs

Today is my first BIG choir performance. I'm super excited. And nervous. And scared.

I know the songs better than I give myself credit for. You see, it all has to be memorized. I'm not so great at memorizing stuff. I have to use it, or do it, over and over again. I need the muscle memory. I just have to have the faith that when it is time, it will come back to me.

What I'm scared about is the fact that my voice is at about 50% at best. I started getting a sore throat on Wednesday. Thought I was getting the flu too. Had the aches, a headache, a little nausea. There were times that I was pretty dang sure I had a fever too.

The aches have gone now. I'm still a little nauseous, but I think that's because I had top ramen for dinner at 2200 last night. It's not a good idea to do that. Don't do it. I was desperate for something hot and quick. Now I'm regretting it!

But I still have a wicked sore throat. I'm hoarse. I'm coughing. And my call time is 1045 this morning! I will be making a run to Rite Aid pretty soon to get some more cough drops and cough syrup. Wish me luck!

For the adventurous, or anybody living in the SLC area, go here for information on our concert in June. Tickets aren't available yet, but will be soon!

For now, I'm going to file my nails and maybe put a clear coat of polish on so they look nice.

And try to keep my nervous tummy settled. And attempt to eat some breakfast.

Safe!

Well I have been on one heck of an emotional roller coaster the last 2 weeks. First it was the usual girly hormones raging, then it was trading in my baby (truck) for a new car, then it was drama with the dealership, and then there's always work, and the horses, and choir, and I single-handed infected our desktop with a vicious hijacker of a virus, and I am selling my scuba gear this morning.

Did I leave anything out?

Okay, so to start it off, I traded in my truck. We traded for a 2011 Honda Civic LX. It's quite a step down from the truck size-wise, but I will admit that the fuel efficiency is very strongly winning my affection. It is white with beige cloth interior. It's an automatic with power windows, doors, mirrors, and has cruise control. All things I have never had in a car. When we were at the dealership, and it became a reality that we were not leaving with my truck, I cried. I bawled. I mean, who does that over a car? I cried on the way home. I cried laying in bed. But life goes on and we now get around 30mpg.

Choir is going well. We have just one more week before the performance. I know than I give myself credit for. And I know that all that I have learned will come back to me the night of the performances.

Back Bay is also going well. I attended a show on the 10th and it was a lot of hard work. Beautiful day out, got some sun too. The High Point Awards for the day were given to two of our students!

My knee is better. Still pains me some when going up and down the stairs, but overall an improvement from a month ago! My hip is starting to flare up again which is an annoyance but I feel it is an annoyance that I must live with.

I found a buyer the other night for my scuba gear. I wish I was able to sell it for more, but this money will put a huge dent in a credit card bill, or I can put it towards our Utah trip come June. Both are practical applications, if I was REALLY smart I would put it in savings and not touch it! But really, who does that? So the gal will be here in about a half hour and I will say goodbye to yet another chapter in my life. Not that I'm done with scuba diving. It is a life-long certification that never needs renewal. Some day I will dive again, just not right now.

I don't know what else to say. I know there is something left to say but I can't quite put a finger on it. So perhaps this is my rambling time! The last couple of weeks I've had to do some thinking. When I traded in my truck, I felt like I was losing a part of who I am. I've always been a truck girl. Always. Even before I could drive, I was in love with the Ford F150. I am still a truck girl at heart, but now I drive a little sedan. I feel like I blend in with the other 10,000 Civics on the road. I know I shouldn't let a vehicle define who I am, but I did. I felt tough in my truck. I sat higher up and could see things. Now I'm low to the ground and feel insignificant. I'm afraid that other drivers won't see me and squish me like an ant. But the good thing is that when we are blessed with children, there will be room in the back seat for them. I don't know when this will happen, but i'm planning on keeping this car for a long time.

It's amazing how time changes you. I haven't been scuba diving in years. I haven't been snowboarding either. I'm afraid that if I were try to board, I would fall and hurt myself. I think I have gotten to the point where I realize I am NOT invincible and I think I'm okay with that. I still love diving and boarding. I still love soccer too. But my body can't handle those activities any longer. I have moved on to a new stage in my life where it's not about the activities I do, but the people I'm with.

Enough philosophical ramblings for one morning. Have a great day!

Highs and Lows

I am SO bad!!

I said I was going to post something EVERY DAY. And now it's been a week since my last post!

Well, since then, life has continued on. I guess I will start with my knee, because there is news there! So just over a week ago my knee started to swell and I decided it was time to call the doc. Regular doc said it could be tendonitis or bursitis. He recommended I go to an orthopedic doctor for more. So I scheduled the appt. The day came and I was excited to get some answers. Instead I got extreme disappointment, anger, and tears.

They took x-rays, said my bone structure looked normal, ordered and MRI and said, "I'll see you in two weeks to go over the results."

Really? I spent $30 on a copay, probably $80 for the x-rays (have to wait for the bill) and an hour of my time for NO ANSWERS?????

So I scheduled the follow-up, texted my frustrations to Earl, and went to the car and called my dad, and before I could really say anything, the tears came and I was so mad and frustrated and disappointed! I can't exactly afford another $600 medical bill right now. Not really an option, you know? So the MRI is out. I'm calling the office on Monday to cancel everything and say thanks, but no thanks.

That same afternoon, Thursday, I went to Back Bay like normal. We ended up having two students cancel so I got to ride! I was super nervous because of my knee and I told myself to take it easy and not to push it. The first couple of times we trotted my knee wasn't happy. But then it started to loosen up and didn't hurt anymore! When I got home and took my boots off, my right one was more difficult to take off because it was swollen. My knee had drained!! All the fluid that had built up had drained! My body was healing!

The downside to this is that I currently have 1 cankle. The good news is that it is General Conference weekend so I don't have to wear a skirt so no one will see my cankle unless I show them!

Friday morning after lessons, I got to go for another ride! This time we went out on trail, along the back bay. It was so nice out! And all we did was walk, which was so relaxing! And then when I got home, I could see that more fluid had pooled in my ankle!

You're probably thinking, "This is gross, I can't believe this chick is talking about draining fluids and is using exclamation points after every sentence. That is so gross!" Well, I happen to think it's cool. And it means my body is healing on its own and I don't need to go back to the doctor!!

So now when I'm sitting, I put my right foot up on my left knee and rub my ankle to encourage the swelling up into my leg to be better absorbed back into my body. Bodies are interesting and wonderful things. It amazes me what it does to heal itself. So cool!

Have I grossed you out yet? Well, I'm not going to gross you out by posting a picture of my cankle. I just wish there was some discoloration in my foot/ankle. That would at least prompt the question, "What did you do?" Instead, people just think I have an abnormally large ankle.

And I don't want people to think I'm more weird than I already am!

No TV on a Rainy Night

I have no clue what to write about today. Today was a day like any other.

I woke up, took Earl to work, stopped by my parents' house. My original intent was to pick up the old keyboard and come home and practice my music for OCMCO. But I got sidetracked. It was a beautiful morning. The air was still, the sky was blue and the temperature was just right. So Dad and I went outside and started pulling weeds by the waterfall. And we talked about this and that, nothing in particular.

Then I noticed that the canopy was leaning to one side. Of course we had to investigate! So we walked over and at first couldn't determine what was causing the lean. Then I looked up and saw a puddle of water on the top that wasn't supposed to be there. So I proceeded to grab the push broom and pushed the water over the top and caused it to spill to the ground.

The weight of the water stretched out the fabric and bowed the supports. So Dad found an old broomstick and the Handy Man's Secret Weapon, aka duct tape, and we supported the support. We discussed whether or not to brace the other two sides (one side had already been braced) and decided it could wait another day.

This is not an exciting tale. Pretty boring and lame. But it is the story of how I was able to spend a few hours of the morning with my dad. I didn't get to spend much time with him as a kid because he worked hard to keep food on the table and clothes on our bodies. I am not resentful of this fact. In fact, I am very grateful. I never went without. I have happy memories of my childhood. And then I became a teenager but that's for another day.

The point is, I love my parents. My mother is amazing and I hope one day to be the amazing woman she is. I want to always be home when my kids get out of school. I want to be there when my kid falls off his or her bike and has a skinned knee. I want to be there when my daughter has a broken heart. I also want to be practical like my father. The no nonsense kind and you do what you have to do to get things done. But to also have a sense of humor and a twinkle of mischief in my eye.

I want to have kids someday (soon, hopefully!) and I want them to know their grandparents.

Because let's face it: my parents are cooler than yours.